{"product_id":"scented-soy-candle-this-is-a-sincere-lame-ass-job-bold-statement-candle-9oz","title":"Scented Soy Candle — “This Is A Sincere Lame‑Ass Job” Bold Statement Candle, 9oz","description":"Light this soy candle and let a clear, honest moment fill the room. Housed in a reusable glass jar with a bold, tongue-in-cheek label, this candle balances clean-burning, natural ingredients with scents that tell stories — from sun-warmed orchard apples and spicy cinnamon vanilla to briny sea salt or quiet white sage and lavender. The cotton wick and 100% natural soy wax provide a slow, steady glow for 50–60 hours while the glossy permanent label makes a statement on your shelf or countertop. Use it to punctuate an evening of reflection, add atmosphere to a laid-back gathering, or give a little laugh to someone who appreciates dry humor and good-smelling spaces.\n\nProduct features\n- Eco-friendly, vegan soy wax blend with a 100% cotton wick\n- Reusable glass vessel — clean and repurpose after burning\n- 50–60 hour burn time, ASTM safety compliant\n- Choose from 12 aromatic scents (including Unscented and Christmas Warmth)\n- Glossy permanent adhesive label; one size: 2.8″ × 3.5\" (7.1cm × 8.9cm)\n\nCare instructions\n- Keep burning candle within sight. Keep away from children and pets.  Never burn the candle near flammable items. \t\t\t\t\t\n","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Clean Cotton \/ 9oz","offer_id":46659610542266,"sku":"23393050540049558638","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sea Salt + Orchid \/ 9oz","offer_id":46659610575034,"sku":"27294634579316779103","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White Sage and Lavender \/ 9oz","offer_id":46659610607802,"sku":"24101994052920644254","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Apple Harvest \/ 9oz","offer_id":46659610640570,"sku":"58117382044385687707","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Cinnamon Vanilla \/ 9oz","offer_id":46659610673338,"sku":"26841864337940904134","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Christmas Warmth \/ 9oz","offer_id":46659610706106,"sku":"21033409336672254318","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Coconut Cream + Cardamom \/ 9oz","offer_id":46659610738874,"sku":"12509896421259220205","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Peppered Passionfruit \/ 9oz","offer_id":46659610771642,"sku":"21210104158570212591","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Unscented \/ 9oz","offer_id":46659610804410,"sku":"18655198807738844274","price":22.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0780\/9397\/5738\/files\/13573097353817054983_2048.jpg?v=1789577405","url":"https:\/\/ciaguymerch.com\/products\/scented-soy-candle-this-is-a-sincere-lame-ass-job-bold-statement-candle-9oz","provider":"CIA Guy Merch","version":"1.0","type":"link"}